All At Once
by bellaBBblack
Summary: Three and half years since Bella left Forks-and Jake and Edward-she returns with danger nipping at her heals, and a Jake shaped hole in her heart.
1. Chapter 1

Bella

_Choking purple columns of smoke curl into the air. My eyes burn, the acrid smell fills my lungs. I fall to my knees, my hands scrap against the blood stained grass. I look down at my hands, crimson streaks across pale trembling fingers._

_When I look back up, all I can see is a young girl. Her matted brown hair falls over her face, her red eyes lock on mine. Her face is contorted with bloodlust. The feral scream coming from her throat sends daggers of fear straight to my heart._

_I close my eyes and start screaming._

My eyes fly open. I sit straight up in bed, screaming and shaking. My heart thuds violently in my chest. I scan my darkened room, everything seemingly in its place. I close my eyes and shove my fingers into my long brown hair, trying to let the last threads of the dream slip away.

My sheets stick to my bare legs, and I kick them off, placing my feet on the cold wood floor. I can barely breathe with the dizzy rush of memories and fear pumping through my veins much less go back to sleep.

A shower. I need a hot shower.

The steam envelops me, warm and clean. Soothing, caressing. I lean my head against the cool tile, letting the water drum against my spine. The water is hot, almost scalding. The heat reminds me too much of someone I left behind. I reach back and turn the gauge, but the change isn't subtle. Instead of lukewarm water, freezing ice pellets my skin.

I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to rip my hair out in frustration. Guilt is an ugly emotion. I can feel it now, bubbling up in my gut, spilling over my insides with dark thick liquid. Everything that happened was my fault. I did the only thing I could do to make it right—if that's even possible. I left.

But three and a half years later, here I am, still stuck between hot and cold. Still fighting my demons, still feeling both guilty and selfish, still waking up with nightmares at three in the morning. Still wanting him.

I sigh heavily and turn the dial back. As wrong as it is, I stand in the steaming hot water, close my eyes, and for just a minute I allow myself some respite. I let the water wash away my sins, my guilt. I let the steam melt away my fear and heartbreak and stupid stubborn pride.

I know it's wrong, but I picture his arms anyways. Wrapped around me, strong and solid and steadier than any others I've ever known. I don't let my mind wander any farther than that. I don't want to remember his deep dark eyes or warm sunny smile. I don't want to remember his soft lips searing mine.

I step out of the shower before the water runs cold and try to leave all the pain and guilt and heartache behind with the soap and suds slowly circling the drain.

_~000~_

I don't know what's wrong with me today. After my shower, I changed seven times. Finally, unable to stop myself, I pulled on an old pair of jeans and this faded orange shirt. The shirt was Jake's. Probably from when he was ten or twelve or something. The day I jumped off the cliff and he saved me from my stupid teenage angst ridden self, he let me borrow it since my clothes were soaking wet. I've kept it. It was one of the few things I took with me when I left Forks for Jacksonville.

Normally, despite the occasional nightmares and stray thoughts, I can keep the guilt and sadness, the oppressive memories and the desperation to see him, talk to him, go back to Forks, at bay. But not today. Today, I sit in class and my knee won't stop bouncing. I chew on my pencil. And every time I close my eyes I see a barrage of images I wish I could forget.

I haven't always been so strong though, either. In the three and a half years since I left, I've been back three times.

The first time, was almost a year after I left, and right after my first year in college. My dad, Charlie, was so happy to see me, surprised, but happy. I didn't ask about Jake. I couldn't. My throat closed up every time I thought about it. I left. I broke his heart. I chose someone else. Even though that's not exactly true, it's close enough. So for three days, I stayed with Charlie, ate with Charlie, and went to a movie with Jessica and Angela who were also home on summer break. That night when I got home from the movie he was there, sitting on my front steps.

And he looked exactly the same at first. Tall and tan, bulky biceps and a chiseled jaw. His black hair was shorter and hung in his dark eyes. It was the eyes that were different. He didn't move as I crossed the distance and stood in front of him. I felt beyond ridiculous. What could I say? Nothing's changed. I couldn't stay.

His face was almost like stone; expressionless. His dark eyes, hard and guarded, studied me intently. Finally, after what felt like a century, he exhaled a long deep breath. His face softened, his eyes flickered with a range of emotions. He looked down and ran a shaky hand through his thick black hair.

He looked back up and stood, towering over me, close enough I could feel his heat. Can he hear my heart beat? His eyes locked on mine and he moved closer. I felt paralyzed. Is this a dream? Should I move away? I can't! I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I realized I was when I felt his rough calloused hand cup my cheek and tenderly wipe away my tears. He leaned forward and softly kissed my cheek. He leaned his forehead against the same spot where his lips had briefly been. It took him a full minute before he could pull away.

Before he did he whispered, so softly I would have missed it had I not been so intensely focused on his every breath, "Until your heart stops beating."

And then he was gone. I stood frozen on my doorstep as I watched him straddle his motorcycle and drive away. Again, I let him go.

The memory almost cripples me. The pencil I've been chewing on snaps in half. Great.

Mercifully, my professor dismisses class and I rush to the bathroom, I splash cold water on my face and try to breathe. After five minutes, I'm feeling better. I try to shake my head and stop my thoughts from circling these same tired scenes as I hurry to my next class, which is across campus.

"Bella!" a female voice shouts and I spin around as my friend, Erin, all blond hair and bright blue eyes, comes bouncing up to me. She is out of breath when she catches up to me and grabs my arm for support.

"Erin, you okay? What's wrong?" I can feel the first bubbles of panic rising up inside me and prickling along my skin.

She thrust a piece of paper into my hand. "Here, this guy told me to give this message to you."

My brows knit together in confusion. All of a sudden, I remember how real my nightmares really are. I swallow back the rising fear and panic and take the note.

_**I need to talk to you. Meet me outside the library at 1:00.**_

"Erin, what did the guy look like?"

"Tall, pale, messy hair," she scrunches her face. "I've never seen him before. He was kinda...I don't know. He seemed really serious. He said his name was Edward, and then I remembered you said-"

I run off before she can finish.

When I'm a few feet from him, I stop. Same disheveled hair, same crooked smile, and the same handsome beautiful face. The most noticeable difference is how unaffected I am. No fluttering heartbeat, no sweaty palms, or dizzy rush of emotions.

I exhale in relief. My shoulders sag slightly. I can see he sees it too. The corners of his mouth turn up wistfully, but his eyes hold a sadness I know I can't even begin to understand.

"Edward," I breathe, slowly. He smiles again and looks away for a moment before stepping closer. I haven't seen him at all since I left. I told him I couldn't. And I know it's hard for him to see me too.

But I couldn't marry him. I just...I just couldn't. After the battle with the newborn vampires; after seeing that girl, ravaged by bloodlust, in the clearing; after forcing myself to let Jacob go; I just couldn't do it. It wasn't a huge epiphany moment like in the movies. I cried in my room for three days. When Edward finally asked me again, I said no. The next day I packed up everything I owned, said goodbye to Charlie, and came to Jacksonville to live with my mom.

"Bella," Edward says softly. He lifts his hand; his fingers barely skim my cheek before he pulls his hand back. "Sorry."

I swallow hard and shake my head. I attempt to smile. "Why are you here, Edward?"

He closes his eyes at the sound of my voice. Do I sound harsh? I don't mean to. I'm not angry with him. I don't blame him. But at the same time, he represents all the darkness that plaques my subconscious. The dark edges of my life that won't go away.

He opens them again, and I notice the rich buttery hue. He fed recently.

"Bella," he begins softly. "I need you to do something for me."

I furrow my brow and wait for him to continue.

"Go back to Forks."

I suck in a sharp breath. My voice squeaks when I speak. "Why?"

He sighs. Like he's dealing with a small stubborn child who asks too many questions. It makes me angry. I feel it simmering just below the surface, making me flush scarlet.

"Please, Bella. Don't ask me that," he pleads. "Just go."

He shoves a plane ticket in my hand. I'm angry and confused and I want to know why! Although I think I already know. I study Edward's golden eyes; his brows knitted together, his lips pressed into a thin line.

He leans forward, so close I can feel his cool breath hit my face. He whispers, "Bella, love, please go to Forks, where I know you'll be safe. She—"

He cuts off, shakes his head and steps away. "Just go," he says firmly.

And in an instant he's gone. Leaving me standing alone, confused. Again.

_~000~_

She? She what? She who? I'm shoving clothes and toiletries into my bag. My mind racing. Reeling. Edward killed Victoria. The only other she I can think of is Jane. The childlike member of the Volturi. A shiver of fear races up my spine. I pack faster.

Thankfully, today was the last day of the semester. I was planning on spending Christmas here in Jacksonville with my mom and Phil. I didn't want to face Jake again. Not after the last Christmas I went to Forks two years ago.

It was my sophomore year in college. And I was desperate to see him. I flew home on Christmas Eve and took a cab to Charlie's. Expensive, yes, but I wanted to surprise my dad. When the cab pulled up, I recognized Jacob's dad's truck right away. Excitement and fear coursed through my veins. I was shaking as I paid the cab driver and hauled my bags out.

But when I got inside, and was hugged and passed around, I realized quickly Jake was missing. Unable to stop myself I asked, "Where's Jake?"

My dad and Billy exchanged a look. Billy cleared his throat and gave me a look I couldn't decipher.

"He's spending the holidays with his, uh, girlfriend's family."

The word girlfriend hit me like a bullet to the chest. It shouldn't have, I know. I let him go. I broke his heart. I walked away. But all I could hear was his husky words, whispered so softly, a promise, in my ear the summer before.

I shook my head, trying desperately to clear my thoughts. I smiled. Or at least attempted to.

"Oh, that's nice," I said quietly. But everyone was staring at me like they knew exactly what I was thinking, feeling. I felt like a zoo animal on display. I smiled again. "I'm just going to put my stuff up, okay?"

I raced upstairs and tried not to cry. Of course that was a lost cause. I felt ridiculous and pathetic. After twenty minutes, I gathered myself enough to go back downstairs.

That night, I couldn't sleep. At three in the morning, I went down to the beach. It was freezing. I wrapped my arms around myself and drew my knees to my chest.

"Bella," Jake's voice was directly behind me. I closed my eyes. Am I hearing things?

But no, a minute later I felt him sit down in the sand behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. He rested his head on my shoulder. He felt warm and strong, safe, amazing. I started to cry.

"Shhh," Jake whispered softly. He cupped my face with his hands, turning me to face him. "What do you want me to do Bella?"

I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat.

"You won't stay—"

"I can't!"

His jaw clenched. I could see the muscle working beneath his tan skin.

"What am I supposed to do Bella? Wait for you forever?" His voice was hard and angry, but it cracked slightly on the last word.

"I don't—"

"You don't what?" he yelled. But he didn't move away. His hands still held my face. His dark eyes were ablaze with anger and desperation. All I couldn't think about was his lips. They were so close. Full, soft, inviting.

I looked up, his eyes changed, soft and black. Like a cloudless night sky. I could feel the tremble in his fingers as he leaned forward. I didn't move. I didn't close my eyes. Neither did he. His lips brushed mine, soft and tentative. But he didn't press, even though the hunger in my belly was gnawing at my insides, desperate with the need to feel his kiss.

He leaned his forehead against mine. He sighed. His fingers slipped back into my hair, gliding through the wind tossed strands. His hands came back to my face, tracing my jaw. I felt his tears drip against my flushed skin.

"Bella," he croaked. "Bella, I can't do this. I love—"

He took a deep breath. A thousand tiny daggers pierced my heart. "I really like her. You have to let me go."

He pulled back. His warm hands, calloused and rough against my soft skin still held my face. His eyes were pleading with me, flickering with unsaid emotions.

"Please Bella," he whispered fiercely. His voice cracked. "I'm not strong enough to walk away from you. I need you to walk away from me."

On the plane now, all I can think about is that night. The cold wind whipping his hair, his long lashes glistening with tears, his eyes dark and desperate, his voice—

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. If I could change everything I would. I should have been strong enough to walk away from Edward. I should have never jumped off that stupid cliff. I shouldn't have saved him. Guilt springs from the dark place in my chest. Ugly and black. I know I couldn't have let Edward die, but—

I shake my head to dispel those thoughts. I can't go back and change anything. I look out the window as the plane starts to descend. Bright green foliage, frosted with white snow covers the landscape.

And just like that, I am home.

* * *

><p>AN: I know, I know. I said I wasn't going to be writing fanfiction. But...what can I say. I missed it. I missed Jake and Bells and this little thing was stuck in my head. More to come, hope you all enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

Jacob

"Shit!" I curse as the wrench I'm holding slips and slices my hand open. Bright red blood springs from the cut. I grab a rag and press it too my hand and slide out from underneath the car I'm working on.

It's already healing when Embry steps into the garage. He's smirking at me. Like's he's got a secret. I seriously want to smack him sometimes.

"What the hell are you smiling about?"

I lean against the front of the old mustang I've been working on, and he does the same.

"Can you get out of work early?" Embry asks.

I eye him warily. Last time he asked me that, we ended up almost to Canada, in the middle of the woods, passed out drunk. And it takes a hell of a lot of moonshine to get a werewolf that drunk.

He grins, as if he knows what I'm thinking, and then shakes his head. "Sam said the council's having a meeting. Said we need to be there."

I frown. "Why, what's going on?"

He shrugs. Obviously not concerned. "I don't know. Let's go out tonight afterwards."

He said that quickly. A little too quickly. Something's going one. I can't decide if I want to call him on it. In all honesty, in my gut, I already know. I've felt it all day. This...I don't know what to call it. Intuition? Dread? Whatever it is, I know it's about her.

I'm staring at him, trying to decide what I want to know, when he clears his throat.

"Embry—"

"Jake, don't," he says before I can ask anything. I keep staring and frowning. Eventually he sighs and runs a hand over his shaved head. Black tattoos mark his arms. Embry's changed a lot too. "Look, Jake, all I know is...she's on her way here, the Cullens contacted us."

He doesn't want to say her name. Not that I blame him. No one witnessed my brooding and depression over her more than him. But I'm okay now. I've moved on. I'm happy.

Maybe if I tell myself this often enough it'll be true.

Truth is, no girl I've been with or dated since Bella left will ever compare. It's stupid and pathetic, I know. All the guys always ask me if maybe I imprinted on her and didn't know it. But I don't need an imprint to tell me what I already know. That my heart has always belonged to her.

Doesn't matter. I don't want to go down that road with her again.

"Let's go," I say. I smile, it may be slightly forced, but I don't care. "Let's skip the damn meeting. I already know that we'll protect her. Let's go to that party your girl's throwing."

Embry laughs but I know he's game. I need to find me a pretty blonde—no brown hair, no dark eyes—to help me forget about Bella being here tonight.

It's been over a year since I last saw her. I barely talked to her at the party. When she showed up at my house the day after her Dad's birthday party, I wanted to kiss her so bad I almost lost control and pushed her up against the wall in my makeshift garage.

But I didn't. Instead I was a complete asshole to her.

"Go away, Bella," I told her. My hands clenched into fists when I saw tears spring to her eyes. Dammit.

"But Jake, I just—"

Anger and something else made my hands shake as I closed the distance between us. I was standing inches away from her, the scent of her, all girl soap and rain, was almost too much. But I couldn't—I wouldn't—touch her.

"You just what Bella? You can't just show up here every few months and do this to me!"

"Do what Jake? I just want to talk to you. You used to be my best friend."

I snorted. "Bella, really? Are you serious right now? I was in love with you, don't you get that?"

He voice was barely a whisper. "Was?"

I groaned. I turned away from her and ran a frustrated trembling hand through my hair. A second later, I felt her skinny arms wrap around me, her cheek pressed against my back, and her small hands clasped together, on top of my heart.

Without even thinking, all my resolve crumbled and I covered her hands with mine. I wanted to push her away. I wanted to kiss her until she was breathless. Until she was mine.

I did neither. We stood there for a long time, until the rain outside stopped.

"Jake?" she finally whispered. My shoulders slumped.

"Just go, Bella," I pleaded. My voice cracked. "Please?"

She left. Again. I felt my heart leave with her.

_~000~_

A few hours later, Quil passes me a silver flask. I tip it back and take a long pull, the liquid burns my throat. My stomach feels like I ingested fire. I don't care, though. It's numbing. A leggy blonde is sitting in my lap, giggling, her pink frosted lips and super-sized assets press up against me.

I tangle my fingers in her hair and pull her lips roughly down to mine. She opens to my searching demanding tongue almost immediately. Her hands roam all over my torso. Sad thing is, I barely feel anything. All I can think about is chocolate eyes and pink cheeks. Dammit.

I pull back and slide her—God; I can't even remember her name, Amber? April?—off my lap. She pouts.

I give her an apologetic smile and before I can rationalize or talk myself out of it, I'm out the door straddling my motorcycle and taking off towards her house.

The ride sobers me. The fresh air, the rain slicked streets. A few minutes later I'm parking in front of her house. The light in her room is on. I stand there, struggling with my emotions. Finally, I just knock on the door.

Chief Swan answers. He doesn't seem at all surprised to see me.

"Hey, Jake," he greets, moving aside to let me inside. "She's upstairs."

That's all he says. I don't answer. I don't want to think too much. I'm not even sure what I'm going to say. It's been three and a half years and I still can't forget her. Can't move on. Can't stop.

I forget to knock in my haze.

I should have knocked.

When I fling open the door, she flips around and lets out a startled gasp. I can't look away. All I see is long legs, tiny pink panties, her flat stomach. She has an orange shirt half way on, only covering the top half of her boobs. Holy shit.

I can't breathe. I can't move. Something primal and hot burns in my veins. I want her. I want her so bad I can barely see straight.

She pulls the shirt down quickly and grabs her pajama bottoms, yanking them over her hips. I don't know if I should sigh in relief or tear off all those clothes.

"Jake, what are you—?"

She's blushing. Shit. I stride over to her, I grab her face, my eyes never leave hers. I kiss her, before I can talk myself out of it or remember why I shouldn't.

She doesn't respond at first. I'm suddenly reminded of our first kiss on the top of that damn mountain. I tangle my fingers in her hair and press my lips firmer to her. I slide my tongue along her lower lip. She opens her mouth to me, and I feel like I just won the lottery.

When her tongue touches mine, I growl. Her arms rise to encircle my neck. I drop my hands from her face, snake them around her waist and pull her closer.

She's not stopping me. I'm too far gone to stop myself. My control has disappeared. I carry her to the bed and settle myself between her thighs. My fingers shove at her t-shirt. I trace her belly button and her ribs with the tips of my fingers as her tongue traces my lips.

I kiss along her jaw. "Bella," I whisper then kiss just behind her ear. She shivers. "Bella," again I whisper as I kiss along the slope of her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. I am in a fog. I can't think, I can't do anything but feel her lips on mine, taste her skin with my tongue. I'm lost, swept away by this current. The Bella wave. Maybe it's more like a tornado. Obliterating everything in its path, leaving nothing but ruins and destruction.

That thought sobers me for a moment. My lips still against her collarbone. Her fingers stop combing through my hair as if she can sense the direction of my thoughts.

Why do I do this to myself? If I let her go again, if I stop kissing her, I know I'll regret it. But I also don't know how to make her stay. How to tell her how miserable I am without her. How to convince her.

Another sobering thought.

Why should I have to convince her? I'll always be her second choice. I already know what she will say. That she can't stay because it'll only bring the vampires back here. She can't stay because it's not fair to me. Or that she still loves him more. Goddammit.

I push away from her angrily. I sit on the edge of her tiny girl bed, with my head in my hands and my elbows propped up on my knees. I'm shaking.

Suddenly the memory of the day she first left me comes rushing back. Like a tidal wave. Or a hurricane. Hurricane Bella.

"I was worried about you," I said when I saw her hesitating in the doorway.

"You were worried about me?" she asked. Her voice squeaked, and I knew she'd been crying. She crosses the room and kneels down next to me, her hand automatically clasping the one laying on my chest. Does she even realize how her body responds to mine? How she feels the need to touch me, to be near me as much as I do her?

I knew she didn't. Or didn't want to anyway.

I squinted my eyes at her, and I knew my last ditch effort was futile. She was always going to choose him. But it didn't stop me from wrapping my hand around hers.

"I figured it was something like that," I sighed, and she dropped her eyes. She didn't want me to see the emotions in her dark eyes. She knew I could read her better than he ever could.

I lifted our joined hands and tilted her chin up so I could at least see her. If this was all I got, I needed to see her. I couldn't breathe, but I still fought; I couldn't help it. The pain was suffocating, and I was drowning in it.

"Was he mad?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I didn't know what I expected to accomplish by going down this path. She'd already chosen him; no matter what I said or did, I'd never be enough.

"No." She shook her head, and I groaned. I'd been counting on that.

"He's better than I thought," I mumbled.

"He's not playing a game, Jake." Her tone was defensive, and I could see how desperate she was to keep herself together, to hold on to what she thought she knew. It spurred me on. She pulled me back in the moment I went under.

"When are you going to see he's not as perfect as you think he is," I spat, my voice harsh but my eyes still soft. Always soft for her.

"I know who he is," she whispered calmly. I took a deep breath, and she dropped her eyes again. Her soft brown hair hung limply next to her face. I didn't even think about the next words; they were out before I could even take another tortured breath.

"At least I know you know you love me too. At least I have that much," I whispered to her, and I wondered if she could hear my heart breaking, if she could feel it the way I felt hers.

"Is it really better? Knowing I'm in love with you and that it still doesn't change anything?" I could tell she didn't want to say that, that she stumbled over the words 'in love with you,' but it still felt good to hear her say it. We were quiet for a moment, and I closed my eyes and inhaled her sweet scent.

"You want to know the worst part?" I asked with my eyes still closed. When she didn't answer, I opened my eyes, meeting her watery brown ones. She nodded while biting her lower lip.

"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would be as easy as breathing with me," I breathed in a strangled whisper.

"I can't, Jake. I mean, I want it, all of it: the life with you; the vision I saw of our life when you kissed me; the two dark haired children with my eyes, but—" Her lip quivered, and I fought every urge in my body that told me to reach out and hold her, comfort her, soothe her. Even though I was breaking inside, I couldn't stand to see her hurting too.

"I need him. I can't live without him," she whispered, and I could tell she was fighting back the tears. Maybe she didn't want me to see how much she was breaking, how the cracks in her resolve, in her decision, were fracturing. But I could-for that brief moment when her chocolate brown eyes met mine, for that instant that I saw her, really saw her, not Edward's Stepford Wives version, but my Bells, the one who was fiery and stubborn and funny and shy. I saw the pain, the indecision, and the want all there, swimming in her dark eyes, and I was sinking in the misery and hopelessness that even that wouldn't change her decision.

I grunted in pain as I reached for her face with my arm that wasn't wrapped and tied to my broken body. She leaned forward, and my hand cupped her cheek, my thumb brushing over her pink cheeks. I swallowed back the tears, tried to make my voice even and soft. Maybe I could at least make this easier on her. I just couldn't bear to see her suffer, even if I knew it would kill me later.

"I know, honey. He's like a drug for you." I paused as she closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. I had to fight myself to continue. Part of me wanted nothing more than to beg her to stay, to fight for her one last time. "I would have been healthier, you know. Like the sun."

"I know," she said quietly, almost more to herself than to me. But those whispered words almost broke me. They ripped through me worse than the pain from my fractured bones. I took a few more deep breaths, wincing when my lungs expanded against my ribs. I felt a little lightheaded and woozy from the morphine; my eyelids felt heavy with sleep.

She stood up slowly, her body almost more reluctant to leave me than the look in her tired, weepy eyes.

"Should I come back?" she asked, and I furrowed my brow, unsure of how to answer her. I didn't know how to let her go, and the harsh reality of that being exactly what I was about to do hit me like a punch in the gut. I swallowed hard, and my next words felt like acid on my tongue.

"Maybe just give me some time?" My voice rose up in question, hoping she'd understand. She nodded and turned to walk out my door, out of my life. "I'll always be here, waiting." I mentally slapped myself, but I couldn't stop the words. She took a deep, shuddering breath and turned to walk out. Her pale hand brushed the door frame, and she turned back to look at me one more time.

"Until my heart stops beating," she finished my sentence, and the next words poured so freely out of my mouth I couldn't stop them. I didn't even want to.

"Maybe even then," I whispered, and her eyes flashed to mine once more. She shook her head and then left. Just like that.

The truth of those three words hung thick in the air around me. I felt them, like they were some written vow-my vow to her. That thought brought me up short. Vows? In a few short weeks, she'd be exchanging vows with that leech. The thoughts and images of Bella in a white dress, him kissing her as they were pronounced husband and wife, caused a heavy sickness to roll in my gut.

It wasn't just her marrying someone else. That, I could almost handle. I mean, I wanted her for myself; I loved her with every part of my being, more than my stupid sixteen year old mind or heart should even be able to comprehend. But I could live with the fact, with her choosing life. Losing her to him wasn't just losing the girl I loved; in choosing him, she was going to die. She was going to become a monster with ice cold skin and blood red eyes. The girl I knew, the girl I loved, would be gone forever. The sharp knife of her short life struck me deep in the gut, cut through flesh and bone, and left me bleeding and begging and wishing for some kind of divine intervention.

I screamed out in pain, and in a minute, Sam came rushing in.

"Jacob? Do you need more pain medicine? Carlisle explained how to give it to you," he said calmly, the completely serene look of his Alpha mask firmly in place. Bella hated me to have that same look. She called me Sam's Jacob's, not hers. Not hers.

I felt the bile rise in my throat, the fresh tears stinging my eyes, and the jagged knife twisted a little deeper.

Never hers, I thought, unable to answer Sam except to bite my lip and nod. I needed to escape this. Those two words kept repeating in my mind. Except they weren't true. Not even close, really. I was hers, wholly and completely. She was not mine-had never been mine.

If maybe he hadn't come back, I might have had a chance. I thought this, but I knew it wasn't true. I knew she would have never been able to let him go. I knew I would have always been second place, a placeholder, a substitute.

But I couldn't help the next image that floated into my brain: her soft warm lips pressed against mine and the feel of her smooth velvety skin under my fingertips. I swallowed around the lump in my throat, and I let the tears fall as Sam jabbed the syringe of morphine deep into my arm. I barely flinched. It wasn't the physical pain that ached. It was the vicious hurt that rippled through me, that burned in my gut and made me feel like the world was ending.

It wasn't. I knew it wasn't. But the cut was so deep, and I couldn't imagine moving on from this. My muscles slowly relaxed, and I felt the tug of sleep as the medicine pumped through my veins. And I let myself see her—pink cheeks, soulful brown eyes, two left feet—imagined the sound of her heartbeat, tried to picture the vision she said she had of two dark-haired children… Even though I knew I'd pay for it later, I needed her now.

It was morning when I woke up. I didn't even know which morning. Two days or two weeks could have passed for all I cared. Pale gray light filtered in through my dirty window, and I squinted my eyes against it. I shifted a little, and even though I could still feel the bruising from the broken bones, it was better. I could almost feel them knitting themselves together. But my head still felt really fuzzy from the pain meds, unfocused and blurry.

I heard the phone ring, and I groaned. The sound was loud and thunderous to my sensitive ears. I heard Billy's gruff, tired voice, and I tried to ignore the words he was saying.

But I couldn't. Because I heard her name, and my body tensed and my ears turned hyper-aware.

"Okay, sure. Um... do you really think that's—" I heard him say, his voice low and serious. "I know, but she—" He sighed heavily, and I could imagine him rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand. He always did that when he felt uncomfortable or worried. He sounded like both right now. "Fine, Charlie, but I can't make any promises that it'll do any good." Another pause and another sigh. "Okay, yeah, bye."

He ended the conversation and placed the phone back in its cradle. I heard his elbows hit the table, and after several long minutes, he finally rolled himself down the hallway, and my door creaked open.

"Oh, you're awake," he said, and I could tell he was a little disappointed because now he had to tell me whatever he'd told Charlie he would. I was already bracing myself, expecting the worst. He hadn't already changed her, had her? Fuck. I didn't know how to even deal with this. I felt the red haze cloud my eyes and the heat lick up my spine. I swallowed and closed my eyes, clenching my hands into tight fist at my sides. I felt the hot, bitter taste in my mouth as I fought to keep my shape together. I knew I was trembling, and I knew my dad could see it.

He waited until I could control myself, until there was only a subtle shake to my hand and the red haze had rescinded. I swallowed again; slowly opening my eyes to meet my father's concerned ones.

"Jacob," he began, and I couldn't even breathe as I waited for the blow. "Uh, Charlie called..." He was delaying, drawing out his words and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Just say it, Dad." I meant for my voice to be harsh-my teeth were clenched tightly together-but my words came out as a broken whisper. If he killed her...

My body pulsed with the rage again, and I had to grip the sheets to keep myself in some semblance of control.

"He's worried. About Bella. After she left here, he says she's been shut up in her room. She was crying pretty loud last night, sent Edward away..." He trailed off again. I struggled to take in a breath. It took me a moment to even register the words he'd said. She's not dead. She's not one of them. She's been crying. Over me?

I tried to shake my head, to clear my thoughts. But the only thing I could think about was how badly I wanted to hold her, how much more it hurt to know she was hurting. It was agony, and it was slashing through me mercilessly. I lifted my hands to tug at my shaggy hair, and the movement made me wince-even though the physical pain was nothing compared to internal battle I was having with myself or the scars she left me with that haven't even begun to heal. They festered and burned, and I just wanted to erase the last few months. Even if I never got to keep her, even if she never became mine. She'd still be alive; she'd still be my best friend. She wouldn't be giving up everything for him.

Why is he so great anyway? I asked myself, but my father's voice brought me out of my inner turmoil.

"Jacob, she—I mean, Charlie was hoping you'd come see her. Try to talk to her. She won't tell him what's wrong. He thought maybe you were feeling better. I told him your injuries weren't as bad as they looked. I also told him I didn't think—" He was rambling now, unsure of what to say or how to say it to me. So I stopped him.

"Dad... I don't know... I mean... goddammit!" I moaned, pulling roughly at the strands of my hair. My dad didn't even flinch at my language; he just raised one eyebrow at me. "Sorry," I muttered.

He shook his head and then sighed heavily again. The sound was really grating on my nerves. I just wanted to be alone.

"Jake, you do what you need to, okay?" And with that, he wheeled himself out and closed the door softly behind him. Billy wasn't one for drawn out lectures or speeches. He trusted me. He always had. Maybe it was because I had to grow up fast and take care of things after my mom died and sisters left. And then even more so after I went furry. It was then I felt his respect. He was proud of our blood, our ancestors, of what I was.

I felt like a monster. Except when I knew I could protect Bella. That's the only time I had been grateful for this curse. At least I knew that no bloodsucker would hurt her as long as I was around.

And now, I'd just let her go off and marry one. I felt like I was sending her to her death, like I'd just handed her over. I pulled harder at my hair, ripping out a few pieces. I was so fucking angry: angry at him, angry at her, angry at myself.

How could I go and see her? How would I comfort her when she was crying because of me? I knew if I went over there I was going to beg her to stay. I could feel it, bubbling in my veins-the fight, the need to protect her, to not let her die. The red haze clouded my vision again, and I felt that familiar shiver of heat rush down my spine. I wanted nothing more than to phase right now. My blood was boiling, there was a hot metallic taste on my tongue, and my whole body was blurring and vibrating.

I knew I shouldn't-my bones were just barely healed-but I couldn't contain it. I felt the wolf snarling and growing, desperate to break free from its cage. I was desperate too-to feel my paws on the damp earth as I ran, to become a creature that couldn't feel this pain so deeply.

I sat up abruptly, my body stiff from lying here for so long. I took a few deep breaths and leaned over, propping my elbows up on my knees and fighting against the change. I rubbed my palms roughly over my face, swallowed, and breathed deeply again. It wasn't working. I still saw red; my arms and legs were still trembling, almost violently shaking.

I stood up and started pacing the length of my floor. Maybe hobbling was the better term. My legs were stiff and sore and bruised. Every intake of breath hurt somewhere. I should lie back down. I should just call her. I should-

I can't! I chastised to myself. My annoying inner monologue wasn't helping. I needed the wolf. And he knew it as he grew impatient in my chest, pacing and growling at me to just phase already. My nostrils were flaring and my hands were balled into tight fists at my side as I tried to hang on.

But it was useless, and after I'd worn a path in the old wooden floor, I opened my bedroom door, almost tearing it off the hinges with my strength. I practically stomped my way into the kitchen, where I found Billy sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him and the newspaper in his hand. He casually glanced up at me and then furrowed his brow when he took in my angry stance. We stared at each other for a moment, and I knew he understood. I knew he knew what I was about to do.

I turned away from him, and my hand was on the door knob when I heard his words stab at me.

"Not too late," he mumbled, and I tensed and then exhaled loudly. I left without saying a word, and I was shrugging out of my shorts and at the tree line in a matter of seconds. This time, I didn't fight the heat or my blurring shape, and I let the wolf take over. It was painful. I could feel my bones reorganize themselves, and it was excruciating, but my werewolf healing ability kicked in, and I felt my bones knitting back together. I flew on all fours through the dense green forest that surrounded La Push. And it felt good. And it was silent. No one was there to hear my thoughts or share in my pain or give me pity. I didn't want their pity or the guilt trip from Sam, so I pushed myself further. I could feel the cool breeze ruffle through my shaggy fur, the soft whisper of a bird's wings, and the distant lapping of the ocean's waves against the rocky beach. My muscles flexed and constricted, working in perfect harmony. The speed was exhilarating and somehow calming.

I felt more and more miles beneath my feet as I left La Push behind me. I had no plans. No direction. I just pushed myself further and further into the Canadian wilderness, hoping to not hear or see anyone. I just had to escape this torment and pain. I couldn't stay and let her drag me along again. I couldn't take the letdown when she realized she still needed him but loved and wanted me.

I allowed myself to think of her one last time, wondering what she would say, how she would feel when she found out I was gone. I knew I shouldn't let myself think about it because as angry as I was, it was still painful and agonizing to think of her in pain. I knew she'd think it was her fault. But it was mine. Always mine. I fell in love with a girl who wasn't mine to have.

I swallowed against the bile that threatened to rise in my throat and pushed away all images of her, concentrating on nothing but the forest, the trees, and the animals around me, the ground beneath my feet, and the instincts of the wolf.

I pushed myself faster, my paws just barely hitting the moss-covered ground as my legs pumped harder and faster. I let go of her, of the pain and the heartache, the shame and regret. I breathed in the fresh air, enjoying the silence and leaving Jacob Black behind.

Of course she didn't even realize I was gone. When I got back, she was already gone. Charlie told me she was in Jacksonville. Edward asked to see me that night. Said he and his family were leaving. That's how I found out she never did choose him. But she didn't chose me either.

She wraps her arms around me, rests her chin on my shoulder. She doesn't say anything. I think it's because she doesn't know what to say. She knows what I want to hear, what I need to hear. But she still isn't ready. Maybe she never will be.

I can't help it. I start crying. It's like a dam has burst inside me. She cradles my head against her chest and pulls me down. I wrap my arms around her, bury my face in her hair, and press my nose against the crook of her neck. _Bella. Bella. Bella._


	3. Chapter 3

Bella

Jake's breathing finally evens out, telling me he's asleep. His body feels heavy against me, his arms even in sleep, are still crushing me to him. I shift slightly and his hold tightens. My mind is reeling.

In the jumble and convoluted mess of emotions and complications and thoughts converging in my mind, something so simple strikes me.

I love him.

It's not that I didn't admit that before. It's not like its new information. But in a way, it is. With his lips inches from my skin, the memory of them pressed against mine still burning bright, and a strange warm feeling of safety and rightness that washes over me, it's like a sudden inexplicable realization.

I love him.

I have to make this right. I'm not sure how. But I know I can't leave him again. That I'll never be able to let him go. Even with the danger lurking. Maybe that's selfish. But I don't care anymore.

By the time I fall asleep, it's almost dawn.

_Her soft angelic face, with wide crimson eyes hovers above me. She sneers. _

"_Jane," I whisper, fear and panic claw at my throat._

_She smiles a wicked grin. "Oh good, she's remembers my name."_

_My brows knit together in confusion. I try to sit up, but her hand wraps around my throat pushing me back down._

"_I wouldn't do anything stupid, Bella," she warns. She closes her eyes and leans forward, grazing my throat with her nose. "Maybe I should stop wasting time."_

_I'm not sure what she's talking about until I feel her sharp fangs pierce my skin. I hear screaming and realize it's coming from me. Something wet gushes from my neck. Before I can do anything, everything goes black._

I wake up with a jolt. Startled, my throat dry, my heart pounding. My hand clasps around my unscarred throat. I can feel my pulse beating furiously through my skin.

I look around my room, flooded now with what must be bright afternoon light. Last night, Jake kissing me, crying, falling asleep with his arms wrapped around me, and my new found outlook, comes rushing back to me with dizzying speed and clarity.

But when I look around, he's already gone.

Last night, I heard his motorcycle pull up just as I was changing into my pajamas. My heart was racing even before he burst into my room like a man on a mission. When he kissed me, it was like the sky opened up. Like the whole world fell away and it was just us.

I get up and look out the window. His bike is gone. What happened? Why did he just leave?

I'm still asking these questions after taking a shower and getting dressed. Charlie's already gone to work when I get downstairs. I make coffee and sit outside on the front steps, watching the sun melt the snow into slush.

My mind is racing. I can't stop thinking about last night. Jake's soft hungry kisses, his hands on my skin. I don't know what to think. It's not like I doubted that I loved him, missed him, but this...this level of intensity, of rightness, I had forgotten. Or maybe I had been too blinded to notice before. Or maybe all this time apart has only heightened it.

It's not like I haven't dated since Edward and Jake. I have. But it was never...I never felt anything like this. I take a sip of my coffee, and for a moment I drift in and out of daydreams of Jake.

But then I remember his absence this morning. I remember his tears last night. A knot forms in my stomach. I'm not sure what to do in all honesty. What if it's just too late? No matter what attraction or chemistry or history is between us, maybe the hurt, the heartache, the pain I caused is just too much. The cut too deep.

All at once, everything is different. That guilt I always feel doubles, triples, causing a festering ache deep in my gut. Panic swells in my chest. Whatever I've been scared of, whatever is hunting me now, suddenly seems so inconsequential. I want to scream at myself. All at once, all I can think about is how the hell do I convince him that I'll stay?

I'm so lost in my emotions and thoughts and the panic and fear and heartache and guilt tearing through me, I don't even notice when a black truck drives up and three boys with tan skin and black hair pile out.

"Bella!" Embry yells. I look up and smile wide when I see him grinning. Quil is right behind him.

"Hey," I reply. Embry wraps his arms around me and twirls me off the porch. I can't help but laugh. Quil smiles and gives me a one arm hug. I look back at the truck. Jake is there, leaning against it, his arms crossed over his chest, a scowl marring his face.

If I had any doubts about his feelings about last night or his reasons for his absence this morning, I don't now. It's all too clear. Except for the frown and his slightly furrowed eyebrows, he's whole expression, even his normally deep open eyes that were so vulnerable last night, are guarded.

I suddenly feel nervous. I look to Embry, who frowns at Jake, but smiles when he catches me looking at him with what I'm sure is a worried grimace on my face. He winks at me and slings his arm around my shoulders. Embry leans in to whisper in my ear.

"Don't worry," he says so softly that if it wasn't two other werewolves here I would be the only one to hear him. "He's just working through some stuff."

I purse my lips and look up into Embry's friendly face. "What stuff?" I whisper.

Embry shakes his head, and mouths, "Later."

"Let's go," Jake growls. Why is he so angry?

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Council meeting," Embry says. Jake's already back in the truck. I let Embry lead me to the truck. Quil starts to get in the front seat, but Embry clears his throat and shakes his head. Both boys pile in the back, leaving me to sit up front with Jake.

He doesn't even look at me. He shifts the truck into gear and we drive off. A few minutes later, I can't take it anymore, and I don't care if Embry and Quil are in the truck or not. They all know each other's secrets anyways.

"Aren't you going to talk to me?" I ask him, my voice laced with frustration.

He doesn't look at me, but his jaw clenches.

"Jake?" My voice rises. I can't help it. I know I messed up but I can't believe he won't even talk to me!

His knuckles are white against the steering wheel.

I throw up my hands and sigh dramatically. "Really Jake? Really?"

He still doesn't speak. My face is beat red I'm so frustrated. Ten minutes later he pulls into the reservation, at Emily's house.

He parks, but doesn't move. I'm holding my breath. After a tense few seconds, Embry and Quil scramble out of the truck, leaving me and Jake to sit there in this horrible tense silence.

If he thinks I'm getting out first, he's wrong. I'm not walking away. Not this time. Finally, he sighs, and hangs his head. He runs a hand through his hair. Why is that so sexy? I shake my head. No. Not sexy. I'm angry. He's won't even talk to me! He kissed _me!_

"Bella, I can't do this right now," he says softly, still not looking at me.

"Do what, Jake? You kissed me last night."

He blows out an exasperated breath.

"I know," he sighs.

"Why won't you look at me?"

He's silent for a long time. His eyes still cast downward. I'm not sure what to do. In the last twenty four hours I feel like everything has changed. Like suddenly the way I see the world, the situation, my own heart, has been flipped upside down. What do I say? I know I could say everything he wanted, maybe needed to hear three years ago. But my tongue feels too thick, my throat closed and dry. I can't get the words out. Is it too late?

Finally he reaches across the center console and curls his fingers around mine. Our joined hands rest on my thigh. I can't breathe. This small gesture means more than that kiss last night—which was all hunger and desperate emotions. I bite my lips and try to hold back my tears.

Jake squeezes my hand and when I look up, his dark eyes are trained on my face.

"You know I won't let anything happen to you, right?" He whispers gravelly.

I nod. My brows knit together. My heart is hammering so loud and fast I'm sure he can hear it.

He leans forward, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingertips trace a line from my ear to my chin. He offers me a sad smile.

"I shouldn't have kissed you last night. I shouldn't have stayed, either," he takes a deep breath and I feel my world crashing down. "I'm sorry."

Am I choking? Crying? I feel like doing both.

I grab his hand when he tries to pull away. "Jake," I whisper, then more forcefully when he turns away from me, "Jake!"

He shakes his head.

"Jake, I was wrong. I'm sorry I should have—"

"Bella, please. I can't do this."

He jerks his hand away and gets out of the truck. I sit there in the pregnant silence and watch him walk to the tree line. His shirt is off and then he shrugs out of his jeans and his shoes, leaving the articles on the ground. A second later, I see his shape blur, and he's gone. Again.


	4. Chapter 4

Jacob

I couldn't take it. I need to feel numb, if only for a few minutes. All my emotions as a wolf were muted, duller. My instincts heightened. And one of those instincts was telling me not to go too far. I had to protect her.

After a few minutes of running through the dense green woods around Emily's house, I phase back. I dress quickly and walk up to the house. I can hear a low murmuring of voices. But it's her sigh I hear most clearly.

Dammit. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel totally out of control. In the truck, when I pushed her away, all I wanted was to kiss her again. And last night? Just the thought of her, the perfect weight of her in my arms, the hunger in her kiss, my fingers in her hair, has me anxious to get back to her, to be alone with her again.

But then I remember all the pain, I can't. I just...I can't.

I walk in and the talking stop, all eyes rest on me. My eyes are only for her. Against my will I seek her out. She's sitting next to Emily on the small brown sofa, nervously chewing on her lip. Does she still doubt I can protect her? That I always will?

Anger, bright and red, boils inside me. I clench my fists and narrow my eyes at her. I don't know if I'm surprised or disappointed when she looks away.

"Jacob," Sam says evenly, but with the deep timbre of the Alpha. In my already enraged state, it grates on my nerves. The wolf inside me demands his rightful place. But I don't want it. I never wanted any of it.

All I ever wanted was her.

Sam motions for me to sit, and I do. I squash all the other emotions and try to listen to the plan. It's simple. Bella has to stay on the reservation, under wolf protection 24/7, until the threat is gone. We know it'll just be a few days, maybe a week. The bloodsuckers will come, we'll fight.

And she'll leave again.

Bella frowns. "And where am I supposed to stay?"

I can't help it. A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. Simple plan my ass. Bella never did like being told what to do. And she's stubborn as a mule.

Emily opens her mouth to speak, but before she can, I blurt out, "With me."

I swear everyone gasps. Bella's eyes go wide.

This is a bad idea. Probably my worst. Especially since I should be trying to stay away from her. Truth is, I know I'm the only one who can protect her from herself.

I meet her gaze. I clear my throat and repeat myself, slowly, leaving no room for argument or question. "You'll stay with me."

She nods. No argument. No refusal. No stubborn pout. I narrow my eyes, trying to figure her out. She swallows hard, her eyes dart away. She won't look directly at me, and I see her fighting a smile. What is she planning?

_~000~_

An hour later, I'm driving Bella to my house after retrieving her things from Charlie's. Dad was there. He's going to tell Charlie the truth, the whole truth. It's time he knows.

Bella's quiet, staring out the window of my truck. She sighs.

"Bella?" Maybe I can try to clear the air at least. Maybe...maybe I don't know, we can at least get a long while she's here. She turns to be, her chocolate eyes wide and expectant. "How's school?"

She gives me a small appreciate smile. And for some reason it makes me feel like I won something.

"It's good. Hard, but good."

I nod. "What are you studying?"

She furrows her eyebrows slightly. "Well, my major is English Literature, but..."

"But what?"

She sighs, and shrugs. "I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. I can teach I guess."

"You'd be a great teacher," I say. I look over and smile at her. She beams.

'So, um..." she twirls a piece of her long hair between her fingers. "What about you? Are you still working at the shop?"

"Yeah, still there. I've been thinking about taking some classes though, at the community college."

"That's great, Jake."

I know it's wrong to feel the way I do when she says my name. But the more we talk the more relaxed I feel. Easy as breathing.

I pull up to the house and she follows me as I put her bags in my room. Her eyebrows shoot up.

"Um, you can sleep in here, I'll take the couch."

"Jake, you don't—"

"Bella, it's fine."

She doesn't argue. I scrunch my nose. Why is she being so agreeable?

She smiles, a bright disarming smile. I fight the urge to kiss her again. The fact that we are all alone suddenly comes into sharp focus. Not to mention the sweet smell of her soap, the pink rising in her cheeks. Before I can stop myself I step closer. Without thinking, I lean towards her. Her lips part, her breath falters. I can hear her heartbeat pick up. The pull to her is so strong, magnetic and irresistable.

"Jake!" A loud booming voice that could only belong to Embry interrupts the moment. And I can't decide if I'm thankful or pissed. I must look pissed, because when he comes into the room, the smile slides right off his face. "Oh hey, Bells."

I frown. Does he have to call her that? It only reminds me of her leaving, of her choosing him, of me always being the friend, second place, never enough.

I step away from her and try to force the bad taste from my mouth.

"So, party on the beach?" Embry asks. He wiggles his eyebrows. "Amber's going to be there."

I roll my eyes. Like I care if Amber is there. I look at Bella. She's forcing a smile, but I see the tightness around her eyes. Is she jealous? Do I want her to be?

I look away and answer Embry. "Sure, sure."

"You coming Bells, or what?"

Embry looks at me again, a sly smile on his face. What is he up to?

"Um..." Bella looks at me and I shrug, trying to be as indifferent as possible. "Okay, sure."

Part of me wants her there, because I always want her around. But part of me doesn't. Part of me wants to be able to forget the way she makes me feels. To forget how she blows into town, trouble nipping at her heels, preying on all my protective instincts, messing with my emotions.

Making me desperate to kiss her.


	5. Chapter 5

Bella

I don't even know how to describe the cacophony of thoughts and emotions I'm experiencing right now as I step out of the shower. One thing's for sure, that sadness that I've lived with, been tormented by, that seemed inescapable the last three years has faded dramatically since I set foot in Forks. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a sudden pit of jealousy expanding in my gut when Embry mentioned a girl named Amber, and the obvious discomfort it gave Jake.

At first, I wanted to turn away, cry, run, and scream. But...something else, a gritty raw determination rose up inside me. Maybe it's selfish. Wanting to fight for Jake. I caused him so much pain, maybe it's better to let him go, maybe I shouldn't have come back here. I could have ignored Edward's request. Then I wouldn't be bringing danger and all that the darkness following me could mean for the pack.

But ever since he kissed me last night, ever since he fell asleep crying in my arms and I woke up to find him gone, something inside me has changed.

I love him.

I want him back.

I take a deep breath and study my face in the mirror. My long brown hair is wet and clings to my shoulders. My face is flushed and my dark eyes seem more alive than ever. I feel stronger. Resolved.

A rare smile stretches across my face. "Something sexy," I whisper to myself. I have to wear something sexy. I won't let some girl make me jealous. I'll prove to Jake I'm worthy of him taking me back. I'll prove to him I love him. I'll beg if I have to for the chance to prove I'll never leave again.

I wrap a small white towel around myself. Distracted by my thoughts, I open the door and run smack into Jake. His hands grab for my towel, and it slips from my slick skin. I gasp and try to cover myself, but when I look up into Jake's dark eyes, my embarrassment slips away. His eyes roam appreciatively over my bared skin. I press my lips together to hide the thrill it gives me.

Jake clears his throat, "Uh, s-sorry, I, uh—"

He stumbles over his words and averts his eyes, handing me back my towel. I wrap it back around me slowly, my mind racing to find something to say.

"Jake," I whisper. He looks up, our eyes lock. The heat there makes my breath catch. Makes me feel suddenly powerful. My lip curls up on one side. I lean towards him, slowly. Jake never takes his eyes off mine. I push myself up onto my toes and lean into his chest, my fingers splayed across the hard muscles. I can feel his heart racing. I place my lips right at his ear and whisper, soft and low, "Thanks."

He doesn't move. I wrap my arms around his neck and after a moment his arms circle my waist and crush me to his chest.

"For everything," I whisper, my voice muffled by his shirt. This close, I can smell him, all masculine and clean. It sends a shiver down my spine.

Too soon Jake pulls away.

"Bella," he rasps. He looks at our feet and shakes his head. "I'll always protect you. You know that."

"I know."

His head shoots up. He's surprised to hear me say that. I give him a small smile, and quickly disappear into his room. I lean against the closed door, barely breathing. Desire, hot and intoxicating, floods my system. I cover my face with my hands and try to control myself. I desperately want to kiss him.

I have to take this slow. If I throw myself at Jake, he'll just throw up a wall. I need a plan.

_~000~_

A few hours later, and my plan is an epic failure. Jake has barely looked at me, much less smiled or talked to me. Across the flames of the bonfire, Jake is sitting in the sand, his arm draped around a pretty blonde girl. I'm seething with jealousy.

Embry plops down next to me. He wraps one strong muscled arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his side. He looks down at me, with a big cheeky grin. I roll my eyes and try to shove him away; an impossible feat considering his size and strength.

He leans closer, whispering in my ear. "So, Bella..."

I can't help but giggle and roll my eyes. "Embry Call, are you flirting with me?"

His smile stretches across his whole face. He wiggles his eyebrows. "Maybe."

Embry leans toward me again. "Just give him time, Bella. He was really hurt. And he's going to be really guarded now that you're back."

I take a deep shaky breath, and look over at Jake. I gasp when I see his dark gaze trained on me. I look back at Embry with wide eyes, more than aware of his proximity.

Embry smiles slyly and leans to whisper into my ear again. "See? He's so jealous now that he's green. Just like you were a moment ago."

I look down, embarrassed, red painting my cheeks. "Was I that obvious?"

Embry snorts. "Yeah. And don't look now but someone's about to break up our little party."

Jake stops right in front of us, his bare feet poking out of the sand. I can't look up. My face is red, my heart is racing. I can barely breathe. _Dammit Bella, get a hold of yourself. This is not part of the plan._

"Call," Jake says, his voice low, almost a growl. Embry looks up at Jake, but doesn't take his arm from around me. Instead he grins and pulls me closer. I try to squirm away, but his grip is too strong.

"What's up, Jake? How's Amber?" Embry replies.

I chance a glance up at Jake and see his jaw clench, his eyes narrowed at Embry. As if he can sense me looking, his dark eyes lock on mine. And I realize what a fool I am. Even though there is no softness to his stare, no tenderness, just a cold guarded mask of indifference, I can't control how fast my heart is suddenly beating. Or how desperately I ache to kiss him. My eyes fall to his lips, full and soft.

"Jake," I clear my throat and try to meet his eyes again. "Can we—"

Before I can finish my sentence, Jake crouches down in front of me. His voice is hard, full of hurt and anger, when he speaks. "Bella, go home."

My brows knit together. Anger boils up inside me, hot and fast. Maybe I have no right to be angry, I hurt him, I know, but I am all the same.

"Jake, can't we just talk?"

Embry drops his arm from my shoulders and backs away.

"No."

I stand up, upset and enraged, hot tears gather in my eyes. "Why not?"

He stands too, towering over me. "Because there is nothing to talk about."

His low controlled voice is what sets me off.

"Nothing to talk about?" I scream, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back. "That's not fair!"

That does it. The mask slips, his face contorts and he steps closer to me, bending down so that we are nearly eye to eye.

"Not fair? Not fair?" Everyone is looking at us now. "Bella, you have no idea what not fair is!"

"Jake, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I hurt you," I say, softening my voice. "I loved him too. I thought I loved him more."

Jake snorts in disgust.

I step closer to him again, swallowing hard, hoping that I get the words right. "Jake, I made a mistake. I shouldn't have left, but I didn't—"

He looks down at me, agony etched into his handsome face. "What do you want Bella?"

I'm startled by his question, doesn't he know? I look around at all the people on the beach trying not to stare at us, and then back into his eyes. "I—"

He shakes his head and backs away. Desperation claws at my insides. His voice is rough and strained with emotion. "Go home, Bella."

"Jake, please. I—"

"No. Go Bella," he says, still not looking at me, he turns away, but I grab his arm.

"I want you!" I blurt. He turns to face me, his eyes widen in surprise at my very public admission.

He stares at me for a long silent moment and then slowly takes my face in his hands. His touch is warm and familiar, and I can feel the tears stinging my eyes spill over and trickle down my flushed cheeks.

"For how long?" He chokes. I open my mouth to speak but he shakes his head. "Until he comes back again? Until you decide to do the selfless thing and leave?"

He moves closer and leans his forehead against mine. "Or until you realize that I'm not enough. Again."

His words, whispered so close to my lips, break me. A torrent of tears stream down my face as I choke on a sob. I don't know what to say or how to argue, how to reassure him. Or even how to reassure myself. He doesn't trust me. And I'm not sure if I even trust myself.

He kisses my tear-stained cheek, and then moves his lips to my ear. "Go back to my house, Bells. Please."

I pull away from him and run into the woods, crying as I stumble over fallen trees and ferns along the path back to his house. It's dark and I am having trouble seeing where I am going. I trip again and fall, bracing myself for impact, when I feel two unnaturally strong arms catch me.

At first it doesn't resgister, but the moment I touch my rescuers arms, the coldness of his skin strikes fear and dread into my heart.

I look up, but before I have time to identify the vampire holding me, I hear a loud primal growl erupt behind me. The vampire throws me to the ground, and I see a blur of brown fur, pale skin, and jet black hair fall to the forest floor.

I cower behind a fallen log. The fight only last a few minutes, but if feels like an eternity. A loud crack and the smell of fire announce the destruction of my would be attacker, and then I feel a warm hand tentatively touch my shoulder.

For one delirious moment I think it's Jake. My heart overflows with happiness and hope. But it's Embry that crouches before me, his face soft, his brows pinched together in concern.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

I manage a nod and try to stand, but I'm so dizzy from my head knocking against the ground when I was thrown, I stumble. Embry catches me, scooping me up in his arms.

"Come on, I'll take you back to the house."

My head lolls against his bare chest. I realize then that he's completely naked, and I squirm uncomfortably.

"Sorry, Bells, I had to act fast," he says, chuckling at my discomfort.

It's quiet when we get back to Jake's house. Embry helps me inside. I sit on the couch and cover my face with hands as I start to cry. It's ugly crying. Embry sit next to me and wraps both arms around me. I fall against his chest and sob.

I don't know how much time has passed, but after a while my tears dry and my breathing slowly returns to normal. I pull away from Embry and wipe the wetness from my cheeks.

"Sorry," I whisper lamely. And then I sigh heavily. "I just don't know how to fix this."

"Bella, just don't leave again, okay?"

I look up at him and nod.

"You love Jake?" he asks bluntly.

Again, I nod.

"Then, just don't give up."

I snort. "That's easy for you to say. You saw his face, you heard him, Embry. I think it's too late."

"Bella," Embry's voice turns serious. "Jake may not want to admit it, he may be really hurt and have a hard time trusting you, but he loves you more than you know."

I sigh and shake my head. "No, maybe he's right. Especially about not trusting me. I can't even trust myself enough to trust what I'm feeling now, that I've been feeling since I got back to Forks, is right. What if I hurt him again? What if I'm wrong? What if once he has me, he realizes he doesn't really love me or want me?"

"Bella," Embry chides. "Just promise me, you won't leave again, at least until we get this whole situation with the bloodsuckers under control, and you and Jake talk about everything."

I nod and stand. "Okay. I'm going to go to bed now. I'm exhausted."

Embry nods and makes himself comfortable on the couch. "I'll stay 'till Jake comes back."

I retreat back to Jake's room, and instantly fall asleep. His warmth and scent that still linger on his sheets sooths me.


	6. Chapter 6

Jacob

"Jake."

She whimpers in her sleep, her long chestnut waves hide her face as she buries herself deeper into my pillow. I can't sleep. Ever since I got back here a few hours ago, I've been here, sitting next to her in bed, watching her sleep. God, I'm now as creepy as her goddamn bloodsucker.

Memories of last night flood my mind. I was so angry, so confused, so hurt and tormented. Before I could even process everything or think through my actions, Amber climbed into my lap and shoved her tongue down my throat. Not that I protested. I wanted to forget. I wanted to feel numb.

It wasn't long before Amber and I stumbled back to my truck and fell into the backseat. Afterwards, sweaty and breathless, I fell against her ample chest. When the fog of lust and moonshine faded and I opened my eyes, I was shocked to see blue eyes instead of brown beneath me.

Shocked. Why was I shocked? I knew what I was doing. But somewhere in the process, my fantasy of Bella, soft skin and eager lips, filled my brain.

I feel sick. And guilty. Why should I feel guilty? She left me. We are not together. She is not mine. And I am not hers. But I still smell Amber's skin, can feel her hair tangled in my fingers. Guilt and shame and anger and confusion churn in my gut.

Leaning on my knees with my elbows propped up, my head in my hands; I look up when she shifts in her sleep. I feel sick and guilty and more confused than ever with her laying in my bed after what I just did with Amber. And what's worse, Embry was here, sitting on the couch waiting for me when I got in. He was there to protect her tonight. Not me.

I'm contemplating throwing up when Bella's chocolate brown eyes pop open.

It's pathetic how little control I have over how I feel about her. Is falling in love always this messy?

I swallow hard to combat the emotion threatening me, and crouch on the floor in front of her. She's trembling and worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. On instinct, I cup her face in my hands and rub my thumb across her lip, releasing it from her grip.

"Bells, I'm so sor—"

She shakes her head, cutting me off. She doesn't want me to apologize. I'm spiraling out of control. I press my lips gently against hers, just a soft feather light touch. Before the desire and passion simmering between our connected mouths can explode, I pull back and rest my forehead against hers.

"Are you okay?"

She shrugs. My Bells, unable to even pretend to be strong. It breaks my heart.

With as much levity as I can manage, I sigh, "Scoot over, will ya?"

She nods, and rolls over to face the window. I kick off my shoes and climb into bed with her. I wrap both arms around her small frame and pull her to my chest. I don't know what made me think this was a good idea. She's so close, soft skin, the sweet scent of ocean and bonfire still on her skin.

I can't help myself. I run my up her bare thigh, over her hip still covered by her short shorts. She shivers when my fingers sneak beneath the hem of her t-shirt. She's so soft, so warm. I dip my head and nuzzle her neck.

_I want you._ That's what she said last night. That's what's bouncing around in my head right now. My fingers dance up her ribcage. I am completely out of control.

"Jake?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you...I mean, were you—" she pauses and I can feel her take a deep breath. I can't think. The mantra in my head is the same rhythm in my pounding heart, as all my blood rushes south. I softly kiss her neck just below her ear. She shifts and the evidence of my desire presses against her hip.

"Were you with that girl last night?"

I go still. Completely still.

"Jake?"

I groan and bury my face in her hair. I want to lie to her. It's on the tip of my tongue. My fingers flex, curled around her slim frame. I've never wanted her so bad.

"Yes," I whisper, so soft, I'm hoping she didn't hear me.

Bella tenses and turns to face me. I stifle another groan when her breasts push up against me. Her eyes, big and brown and full of flickering emotions, search my face.

"You kissed her?"

I swallow around the lump forming in my throat and nod. Her breathing changes, short and fast and labored. I close my eyes anticipating her next question.

"You...you slept with her?"

I nod.

For a moment, there is a charged silence in the room. Her hand connecting with my face, breaks it, reverberates around the room.

Bella scrambles out of bed. Her face is flushed red with anger, a fire lit in her eyes.

"Bella—"

I stand and try to reach for her, but she puts up her hands, warning me off.

"You slept with her?" She screams, her voice echoing. I cringe. "And then you come here and try to feel me up?"

"Bella, I'm sorry. I was so pissed—"

"I don't care! I don't want to hear it!"

"Bella, wait! Where are you going?"

She shoves her arms into my hoodie that was hanging over the back of my chair and her feet into my sneakers on the floor. She looks adorably ridiculous.

"Away from you!" She screams.

"Bella, you can't leave!"

She spins around, already standing in front of the front door. She walks back towards me, poking her finger in my chest.

"You listen to me, Jacob Black," with the oversized sweatshirt and sneakers flopping on her feet, her hair mussed and her cheeks tinged pink, it takes every ounce of self-control I possess not to kiss her. "I know I was wrong, I chose him, and then I chose neither and chose to leave. I didn't come back home because I was scared and confused. I get it. I fucked up. But I'm here now. And you can't just use me like that!"

"Bella," I say softly. She backs away. "I didn't—"

"Look," she says, a little more calmly. "Maybe I should just go back home."

Like hell she will. "No."

She looks up, surprised and furrows her brow. I make my expression as alpha-like as possible. No room for argument.

"No? Jake, you can't order me around."

I step closer to her, so close, if I bent down I could kiss her.

"Bella, I will tie you up if I have to," her eyes go wide and she shivers. Is that desire in her eyes? "But you are staying here, where we can protect you and keep you safe."

She purses her lips and frowns like a petulant child. She opens her mouth to speak and then snaps it shut. After a minute of glowering at me, she storms off, slamming the bathroom door behind her, leaving me standing there, turned on, confused, and more in love with her than ever.

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><p>Thanks for all the reviews guys!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Bella

"Bella."

I hear a thump against the door, presumably Jake's head. After an hour of sitting here in the cramped bathroom, Jake trying to coax me out, I'm still shaking. Anger, hurt and jealousy all consume me.

"Come on, Bells. I'm sorry. I was so pissed off last night and drunk and I just wanted to—"

Through the still locked door I cut him off, "Jake! Just shut up! It's not just...I'm disgusted, alright? It's gross!"

He sighs heavily against the door and I hear him slide down until he's sitting against it on the floor. I can just imagine him, running his hands through his thick black hair.

"I just wanted to forget that I love you."

His tortured confession, barely a whisper, feels loud and echoes inside my head. It's deathly silent for a long moment. I sigh, stand up from my seat on the tile floor and fling open the door. Jake falls, his back landing on the floor, his brown eyes shining up at me.

For a minute, all we do is stare each other. It's impossible not to feel this overwhelming desperation between us. It's been there, between us, pulling us together, ever since I saved Edward. I chew on my lip. How can we go back to before that?

"Jake, can we just...talk. I mean, have an actual conversation about things without fighting or..."

I trail off as heat rises in my cheeks.

His lips curl into a smirk. "Kissing?"

"Yes."

Jake leans up on one elbow, his devilish smirk widens, a full grin stretches across his face. "Yes to kissing?"

"No! Jake, no more kissing!" My face is as red as a tomato. "Or touching."

Jake leans forward on his elbow, his eyes sparkle with mischief. He gently touches my forearm with his free hand, and then slowly trails his fingers up my arm. My stomach flutters.

"Are you sure about that?" Jake whispers huskily.

I snatch my arm away, scowling. "Jake! What is wrong with you? You just slept with someone else, her smell is still all over you!"

His face pales and he ducks his head.

"Bells, I'm sorry. I—" he expels a heavy breath and runs his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I lose all control when I'm around you, and I just want to—"

"Jake, please, stop," I plead shakily. I sigh and then look up, staring at him and chewing my bottom lip. Suddenly I remember a time when it wasn't like this. When it was simpler. When our friendship was naturally blossoming into something more.

Our friendship.

Is that it? Is that the key?

"Jake, maybe we've been going about this all wrong."

He arches an eyebrow at me.

"You were my best friend Jake, before we—"

"Fell in love?"

I nod. The plan forming in my mind, a solution to the heartache I hope, falters briefly when his mouth curls around the word love.

"Yeah, maybe we should..."

"You want to go back to being friends?"

Both eyebrows are raised now, his dark eyes unreadable as they search my face.

"Jake," I start, grasping his large warm hands in mine. "I'm sorry. I really am sorry for hurting you. If I could change it, I would. But I can't. All I could do is apologize and hope that you forgive me so we can start over."

"Start over," he mummers to himself, looking down at our joined hands. I don't know what he's thinking, but he's contemplating something as I watch his brows knit together. Several minutes later, his frown eases, and he smiles. "Okay Bella. Let's be friends."

A shiver races through me, my stomach fills with obnoxious butterflies at the look in his dark eyes. Jake leans forward and chastely kisses my cheek, his lips only lingering for a moment. Then he jumps up, pulling me with him.

"Get dressed Bells; we're leaving in ten minutes."

"Where are we going?"

He calls over his shoulder as he saunters from the bathroom, "To the garage."

_~000~_

Two hours later, I'm sitting on a box, watching Jacob work on a car. He's been pretty quiet. Every once in a while he looks up and a smile lifts the corner of his lips. There's something different about the way he is looking at me. But also, very familiar. It's not the heated look he had in my bedroom that first night, or the hurt and anger that marred his handsome face, or even the pained sadness or resignation I've seen before.

"Bells?"

"Yeah?" His soft voice snaps me from my reverie.

"Can you hand me that tool by your feet?"

"Oh, yeah," I pick up the metal tool and hand it to him. His fingers brush mine. My skin tingles.

"So," he says as he slides back underneath the car. "Tell me about the parties in college."

I snort. "Honestly, they're not very different."

"Except for the wolves."

I laugh. "I don't know, those frat guys are a lot like wolves the way they prey on the girls."

Jake laughs. The sound is full and warm. I instantly melt.

"Did you—" he clears his throat. "I mean, did you ever fall victim to their charms?"

I smirk. "Jake, are asking me if I've dated anyone in the last three years?"

He's quiet for a moment. Then, "Well, _friends_ talk about this stuff, right?"

He's emphasis on the word friends is not lost on me. I wonder what his plan is. And if it matches mine.

"Not at first," I start slowly. It's so easy to slip back into talking to Jake. The familiarity of sitting in the garage and watching him work makes it all seem like before. When we were just friends and it was simple and easy.

"But, I did eventually try. I mean," I take a breath. A moment ago it seemed easy to tell Jake all this, but my cheeks are quickly turning red. He rolls out from under the car and sits up, his dark gaze locks on mine. "I dated a few normal guys, and—"

Embry bursting through the open doors, saves me from the dark cloud that was descending on Jake's face.

"Jake! We got one!"

Jake jumps to his feet and starts to take off. But he pauses and turns back to face me. He drops to his knees in front of me, our eyes level.

"Stay here, Bella," he commands. There is an edge to his deep voice I've never heard before. His eyes narrow. "I mean it; promise me you'll stay here."

"I promise."

Embry and Jake are running towards the trees, already shedding clothes. I stand, just outside the garage doors, watching with rapt fascination as Jake's muscles ripple and change, his shape vibrates, and a second later, a massive red wolf disappears into the thick green forest.

I pick up his and Embry's scattered and discarded clothes. When I turn to go back to the garage, I gasp as a dark figure emerges from the shadows. His eyes black.

"Hello, love."

* * *

><p>Sorry guys! I don't know why it wasn't letting you read the last two chapters, but hopefully it is fixed now!<p>

Thanks again for all the interest and reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

Jacob

The ground crunches beneath my massive paws as I take off through the thick forest, dodging branches and leaping over fallen trees with ease. Embry is on my right, and soon we catch up to the other wolves. The awful cloying stench of dead flesh from the vampire stings my nose with such force, I almost puke.

I see a flash of blonde hair. I take off, chasing the small vampire through the trees until I lose sight of her. I skid to a stop. When I lift my snout to sniff the air, I see her, casually sitting on a tree branch at least fifty feet in the air, swinging her black boots. A wicked smile curls her lips.

"Hello, hello. You must be Jacob, where is your Alpha?" Her voice is childlike but menacing all at once.

Sam walks up next to me in wolf form and bares his teeth at the small vampire, still swinging her feet and smiling. It's unnerving. And I can't help but feel like something is really wrong.

"Can't we talk?" She asks, pouting.

Sam and I both shift, unashamed and unaware of our nakedness. Blondie jumps down, landing with a soft thud on the forest floor ten feet in front of us. Her eyes, red as fresh blood, rake over our bodies.

"What do you want, bloodsucker?" Sam asks through clenched teeth.

Her eyes stay on me. "Well now, I see why Bella has chosen you over her lovesick Edward."

Bella's name coming from her mouth sets my blood to boiling. I clench my fists.

"What do you want?" I ask this time, barely containing my rage. My whole body vibrates with it, especially with my enemy so close.

"I came to deliver a message," she says cryptically, lowering her gaze to look at her fingernails.

Something's not right. I can feel it.

"Where is Bella?" She asks, grinning.

I narrow my eyes. "What is the message?"

Her eyes widen slightly, like she can see the anger and rage radiating off me, like she's anxious for a fight.

She saunters up to me. Her breath is like freezing ice against my cheek. My stomach churns. Standing on her tip toes, she whispers in my ear, "You cannot protect her. He wants her, and I intend to make sure he gets her."

I grab her shoulders, my fingers digging into her cold skin.

"He? He, who?"

She sneers, "Have you forgotten already that you are not the only one in love with her?"

Enraged, I clamp my hand around her throat and with lightening quick speed, I push her against the nearest tree, twisting my hand. Her eyes widen with fear and surprise.

"What are you talking about?"

She spits in my face. An inhuman growl erupts from my chest as I squeeze her neck, twisting my hand more and more.

Before I break her neck, she spats, "In fact, he's already got her."

I twist, breaking her neck with my bare hands. She slumps, lifelessly against the tree. Panic and dread mix in my gut; explode in blood as I take off running back the way I came.

"Burn her!" I scream just before I leap into the air, shifting into my wolf, my paws hitting the floor with earth-shaking force. I push myself harder, faster, desperate to get back to Bella.

I hear her bloodcurdling scream pierce the once still morning, the sound like a knife slicing through my heart.

In my head, my pack brothers are shouting, running to catch up to me. But their thoughts and voices are all just a blur inside my head. I burst through the clearing, and I see Edward, his hands wrapped around Bella's upper arms, leaning closer and closer to her face.

I barrel into him, knocking him to the ground. His black eyes widen in surprise for just a moment before he cools his expression.

"She's mine," he snarls, kicking at me chest. I land on my feet, growling, baring my sharp teeth. We circle each other, slowly. I've been waiting forever to kick his scrawny ass.

I lunge first, my jaws snapping at air as he avoids the strike. Adrenaline and fury pump through my body, my vision tunnels until all I see is him beyond the red haze. I lunge again, this time my jaws sink into his shoulder, ripping and tearing fabric and skin.

But he's quick, his movements blur and he knocks me away, sending my body crashing into the side of the garage. The wood splinters beneath my weight. Undeterred, I immediately rebound, and lunge for him again. The taste of his blood is already on my tongue. Something ancient and primal takes over, instinct and bloodlust roar inside my body.

I knock him to the ground and we roll together over the grass, already slick with blood. I'm snapping and clawing, he's punching and kicking. He's fists connects solidly with my jaw at the same moment his feet kick violently at my gut, sending me careening through the air. I land hard on my back, dazed and weakened by the blow.

"Jake!" Bella scream, but she sounds too far away. I stagger to my feet and shake my head.

Edward is already there, his arms wrapped around Bella's waist.

"Bella," he says softly. His back is to me, my brothers break through the clearing as two more vampires appear on the other side. "Come back with me."

"Edward," she shoves uselessly at his chest. He doesn't budge. "Why did you tell me to come back here? Why are you doing this?"

"Love," he mummers, releasing his arms from around her, he strokes her hair. Everything in me is screaming. I steady myself and start to advance on him. The two new vampires snarl at my pack mates, ignoring me. Before I've went ten feet, they both lunge for each other. A snarling, growling mess of fur and blurs of pale skin collide.

Edward is unaffected. I can't see Bella's face, but I can almost sense her fear.

"I thought I was protecting you, but—"

"Protecting me? You mean tricking me!" Bella spits the words harshly, her voice shaking.

Behind me, Embry rips the arm from one of vampires, and tosses it to the side before advancing on him again.

"Bella, love—"

"Don't call me that!" She screams, wrenching herself free of his grasp. Edward's body tenses, and then he grabs her, brutally slamming her into the side of the garage. Her head connects with the wall with a sickening thud. I lunge for him.

My jaws close around his shoulder. I toss him to the ground, putting myself between him and Bella's limp body slumped against the side of the small garage on the ground.

"Jacob, get out of my way. She's mine!" he growls. White hot rage and ancient instinct fuel me as I lunge for him again. He's too quick, rolling to the side to avoid my blow. He's on his feet in an instant.

I advance on him again, this time ramming my head into his gut. His back hits a tree, bones snapping as I pin him there. Behind me, I can smell the smoke as the other wolves burn the bodies of the two fallen vampires.

Edward kicks at my gut again. I fall to my back. By the time I get to my feet, he's already gone.

Panting, I shift back. "Coward!" I scream, my voice hoarse, my vision still red until I hear her faint whimper. I spin around and run back to her. I fall to my knees and pull her into my arms. She holds her hand to her head, blood trickles down the side of her face.

"Bells, are you okay?" I ask softly. My hands cup her face, examining her carefully when she doesn't answer me. "Baby, please, talk to me. Are you alright?"

She nods and then collapses against my chest. She clings to me as a sob breaks from her chest. I mummer softly into her hair and stroke her back.

After several minutes her crying stops, her breathing slowly returns to normal. I scoop her trembling body into my arms and walk her back to the house.

"He'll be back," she whispers. I look down just as she looks up, her soft brown eyes lock on mine.

"Looking forward to it," I say. I smile, trying to ease her worries. She frowns and I bend down, bring my head closer to hers. "Bella, I'll protect you. Always."

She nods.

"You believe me, don't you?"

She sniffs and nods again.

I grin, "Good, can't have you doubting my mad skills."

Bella snorts, and then giggles as she burrows into my chest. She's so warm and soft, and I'm suddenly so relieved that I was able to protect her, that he wasn't able to take her from me, that I sigh, my shoulders sagging.

I walk inside, and take her to my room, gently laying her on my bed. I kneel down next to her, and lean my forehead against the soft mattress by her side. Bella's fingers comb through my hair, gently scratching my scalp. A lump rises in my throat.

"Jacob," she whispers softly. I raise my head to meet her eyes. "I'm okay. You protected me. It's okay."

My eyes search hers, dropping to her lips briefly. I know I shouldn't be thinking about kissing her right now. After last night and this morning, after the fight with Edward, but it's all I can think about.

_She's mine._ Edward's words reverberate inside my skull, crashing and colliding together.

"Bella," I breathe. Her hand falls to my jaw, her fingertips dancing along the stubble. I look at her lips again; remember the soft texture, the fullness of them pressed against mine. I lean forward a few inches, until our mouths are but a breath apart. She sucks in a sharp breath.

I stop. I wait. After a very long minute, my heart hammering in my chest, she pulls away. I press my lips together and swallow hard.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, quickly standing and leaving the room. I shut the door and lean against it. All at once, everything comes crashing down on me. I slide down the door and sit on the worn wood floor, leaning my head back.

_How am I supposed to fix this mess_?


	9. Chapter 9

Bella

My head is pounding. I sit up in Jake's bed and hug my knees to my chest. I'm freezing. Both inside and out. All I can think about is Jake's warm arms wrapped around me, his heated lips pressed to mine.

I shiver again.

It's almost midnight. Jake has barely said two words to me the past three days. I slip out of bed and wince when my feet hit the cold wood floor.

I realized after the other night, I have yet to see Billy, Jake's dad, since I've been here. Come to find out, six months ago, he moved in with his girlfriend, leaving the house to Jake. I'm surprised he didn't move into the bigger room.

I grab Jake's hoodie off the floor and tug it over my head and venture out into the living room to see if Jake is sleeping in his usual spot on the couch. The emptiness I see there when I round the corner, echoes the emptiness in my heart.

I plop down on the worn comfy couch, pull a blanket over my legs and flip on the TV. I keep thinking about Edward, how different he was. Maybe different isn't the right word. He showed signs of being controlling before. But this was...I don't know...he was crazed, desperate, out of control. The look in his eyes was terrifying. Why would he send me here, just to come back for me?

I can't help but think something must have happened between then and now. Something or someone must have some control over Edward. Flipped his switch. Or something.

I'm still contemplating this, trying to solve the puzzle, an hour later when Jake, Embry and Jared all walk through the front door. I look up and I'm startled when Jake's eyes lock on mine. I quickly look away, unsure of what to do or say. Is he mad at me?

Jake sinks into the couch, on the opposite end, leaving plenty of space between us. It feels like an ocean not just four feet. I'm all twitchy. I desperately want to crawl across that space and curl into his side, to feel his heat. I can feel his gaze on me. The boys are chattering around me, but I can't hear them. In that small moment, barely a few seconds, my world seems to come to a crashing halt.

Just as I finally draw in a breath and turn my head to meet Jake's gaze, Embry plops down in between us, blocking my view. He slings a muscled arm around me, pulling me against him. Embry leans into my ear, and whispers conspiratorially, "Hey baby, waiting up for me huh?"

I snort. Embry presses his lips to my cheek and noisily—and very sloppily—kisses my cheek. I giggle, but suddenly he's gone. When I look up I see Jake grab him by the collar of his white shirt and toss him into the chair next to the couch, a low growl rumbling in his throat.

"Alright, Jake! Jeez, I was just kidding!"

Jake's rolls his eyes and then looks back at me. His eyes soften. My heart flutters with hope.

Jared clears his throat a minute later and we all turn back to the movie I wasn't really watching. Even with Jake several feet away, I feel warm and comfy. I don't even realize I've fallen asleep until I stir and realize I'm being carried. By Jake.

He gently lays me on his bed. His eyes widen slightly when our gazes meet and he realizes I'm awake. He sits down on the bed and sighs heavily. He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, his face cradled in his hands.

"Jake, are you mad at me?"

His head snaps up. After a very long moment, he sighs again and looks away. "No Bells. I'm disgusted with myself. Not you."

"Jake," I whisper gently. I reach out to touch him, but he flinches when my fingertips graze his forearm. I pull back. "Please, Jake. At least talk to me."

Several painful seconds pass before he does turn to face me, his dark eyes shining in the darkness. The only light is from the moon and stars bathing the room in their pale glow.

"I can't even remember not being in love with you. Not wanting you," he starts, his tone fierce and a little self-deprecating. "Since we were kids that's all I've ever known. I was so desperate to change your mind when you were with Edward. And so heartbroken when you left."

"Jake, I'm so sorry. I just—"

He holds up a hand to stop me. "I know Bella. You've said it before. I get it. I wouldn't have wanted you to pick me then just because you knew you couldn't be with _him_. I've never wanted to be second place," he pauses, and I feel fresh tears burning my vision. "But still, you could have stayed."

I blow out a breath. "Maybe. Sometimes I wish I would have. I wish it wouldn't have taken me so long to get over Edward, to understand that this is where I belong. But even now, I feel selfish. I shouldn't be here, putting everyone else in danger. I'm just not strong enough to walk away this time."

His gaze turns fierce, his jaw set. "It's my job, _our job_, to protect you, Bells."

"But Jake, this is all my fault!" I sit up and press my hands to my chest. Tears stream down my flushed cheeks.

"Bella," he says gently, calmly, resting his hand on my knee. "From the very beginning, even when you thought you loved Edward, he was manipulating and controlling you."

I swallow hard. A little anger and indignation boil up inside me. When I first left, I just knew I didn't want to be a vampire. And I knew that meant I couldn't be with Edward. But...the desperation in his dark eyes yesterday, his words...I just never thought he was a monster. Not really. I never thought he had any power over me. Now I'm wondering if that power, that compulsion, is, was supernatural.

I deflate, as these thoughts and realizations and regrets whirl in my mind.

I lean my head against his shoulder, and Jake wraps his warm arm around me. He hugs me close, placing a tender kiss on my hair. He rests his cheek against my head. We are quiet for a long time. I'm no longer cold or afraid; his arm is almost too hot even through the bulky sweatshirt. The warmth inside my chest slowly unfolds, like a flower blooming, opening her petals to the sun.

"Jake," I whisper, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" He sounds so sleepy. If we weren't sitting up, I'd think he was asleep.

"How do we fix this?" I should be worried about my life, and the life of my friends, Jake's pack. But right now, the situation between Jake and I is all I can think about.

He exhales a heavy breath. His shoulders slump, "I don't know."

"I have an idea," I start slowly, the idea taking shape inside my head.

"This isn't the friends thing again, is it?"

Suddenly I'm not sure if he's going to like what I suggest. But it's the only thing that makes sense to me.

"Bella?" he asks when I don't answer.

I swallow hard. "Uh, well...kinda."

Jake pulls away, and for a split second before he returns with his hands cupping my face, a burst of panic burns in my chest.

But just as I feel that, Jake presses his lips to mine. Soft and tender, he kisses me. He drags his tongue along my bottom lip, sending me into orbit. Jake tilts his head, his fingers slide back to tangle in my hair, his rough thumbs trace the smooth skin along my jaw. My lips part, opening to the sweet demand of his tongue, and he deepens the kiss.

Jake pulls back and leans his forehead against mine. We are both breathing heavy, my breathing ragged as desire floods through me. I could easily tilt my chin and recapture his lips. My whole body tingles with anticipation.

"I don't think I can be just friends with you, Bells," Jake says roughly. "I want you too much for that."

A thrilling shiver travels through me at his deep husky words. I take a deep calming breath.

"It might kill me, Bells," he says, all serious, when I don't answer.

I laugh and shove at his chest. His fingers wrap around both my wrists. He pulls me against his chest, dips his head and kisses me again. His lips are soft and full, but hungry and persistent. I can't help but melt against him. My mouth opens as he sweeps his tongue inside.

That's all it takes, my mind is clouded. I'm lost, craving more. Heat and wetness gather between my thighs. Jake eases me backwards, lying next to me on the suddenly too small bed. He releases my hands. I immediately frame his face, my fingertips traveling along the rough scruff on his jaw, sliding back to rake through his inky black hair. Jake groans. He grazes his teeth along my bottom lip. My body hums with desire, is overtaken by need and want and a fierce longing I've never ever known before.

Jake grips my hip, his fingers sliding under my hoodie. He lays his palm flat against my stomach and slowly moves up my ribcage. My heart is pounding, racing. Passion and adrenaline are pumping fast and furiously through my blood.

He groans again, breaking his lips from mine to kiss along my jaw, when he discovers I'm not wearing a bra. His large warm hand cups my breast, his thumb brushes over the hardened peak. I shiver again. A moan escapes me; Jake's breath is warm as he kisses my neck.

It eggs him on. Jake shoves at my sweatshirt—his sweatshirt—and ducks his head. His mouth on my breasts sends me into ecstasy. Moments ago I was merely warm being held in his arms, excited by his hungry kiss. Now I am devastated by desire, flushed with heat and passion.

A moment later, I feel his lips traveling south, kissing a path down the center of my belly. He tugs at my pajama bottoms. All at once, my senses come back to me, my earlier plans. All at once, my fear that this is too much too fast overwhelms my desire. My muscles tense.

Jake stills, his breath is warm and ragged against my navel, his fingers still hooked in the waistband on my pajamas. After what seems like an endless few seconds, he lifts his head. His eyes are dark, swimming with want and hunger. But his face, his brow, is etched with concern. Fear, I realize.

I tug on his arms. Jake moves off me, lying on his back next to me. He stares at the ceiling and pushes his fingers into his disheveled hair. I don't speak. I'm not sure what to say.

Finally he blows out a long heavy breath. "I'm sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to be so...uh...I mean act like that."

I smile, "Like what?"

He must hear the smile in my voice. He turns his head in my direction. Jake lifts an eyebrow; a smirk twitches at the corner of his perfectly shaped lips...

I kiss him. I can't help it. My eyes focused on those soft warm lips, and I wanted to taste them again. To feel their sweet tenderness, that dangerous edge of hunger simmering just below that. Jake rolls to his side, and brings his hand up to cradle my face.

With what feels like a practiced rhythm, our mouths meld together in a long, slow kiss. Once again, I feel transported. Like I'm flying. Or drowning. Or some strange exhilarating combination of both.

I moan when his tongue touches mine. Jake abruptly breaks the kiss.

"Bella," he pleads. "Don't do that. I can't—"

He cuts off his own protest with another kiss. His lips are hungrier, rough and demanding. I arch into him. I'm not even sure how it happens, but within a few seconds, my sweatshirt and the tank top I was sleeping in are gone. Jake's warm hands are full of my soft flesh. An intense craving barrels through me.

Jake's hands and lips are everywhere, kissing, touching, devouring every inch of my skin from the waist up, until I'm shaking with such heat and desire I can't think, I can't speak, I can't breathe.

"Jake," I whisper breathlessly, as he places one kiss, soft and tender right below my navel.

"Hmm?" he responds, smoothing his hands up my ribcage. He starts kissing up my chest, slowly, almost reverently. His muscles tense and tremble as he holds back the hunger I can feel him trying not to give into.

"Maybe we should slow down," I finally find my voice. And my common sense. I don't want to. Every nerve ending in my body is on fire, screaming in protest. But the logical side of me says this is too fast, too soon. That he was just with another girl a few nights ago.

That thought sobers me.

Jake kisses me again, this time soft and sweet, but deep enough for me to question my sanity.

"You're right," he whispers, his voice is deep, husky. He falls to the pillow next me, wrapping his arms around me. He pulls me to his chest, envelops me in his warm embrace. He kisses the back of my neck. "I'm sorry. I got a little carried away."

"I know. Me too."

"I'm sorry for being such a jackass since you've been back home, Bells," he says softly.

"I'm sorry too. For everything."

Several silent minutes tick by.

"What was your idea, honey?" His face is nestled into my hair, his voice quiet, hesitant.

"I was just going to suggest that we take it slow."

"Oh," he responds. Then adds, "How slow?"

I laugh, squirming as his breath tickles my neck. He pulls me impossibly closer, snuggling onto the same pillow.

"Bells?" he asks a few minutes later. I'm already drifting off to sleep.

"Hmm?"

"I'll try."


	10. Chapter 10

Jacob

Slow? I don't know how the hell I'm going to do slow. I want her. I mean, really, really want her. It's been three days since that night on my bed, almost a week since Edward showed up here.

And I am going fucking insane.

Every day is torture. Pure, sweet torture. I'm at the shop working from dawn till dusk, trying to make some money. Why is it suddenly we're slammed with business? When all I want is to rush home before I have to meet with Sam and the pack, or go on patrol, and kiss the daylights out of my Bella.

Bella's been busy too. When she's not at home (with a pack member playing bodyguard) she's looking up where she can finish her degree around here or spending time with Charlie.

Instead of more hot scenes on my bed, or the explicit fantasies I've been running on loop in my head, we've only shared a few deep kisses. I'm happy about this. I am. For the first time in my life, I can touch her, wrap my arms around her and bend down to kiss her soft lips whenever I want.

But, dammit. I'm also a man. And the girl I have loved all my life has finally chosen me. And is sleeping in my bed every night. In my freakin' t-shirt. And nothing else!

Call me crazy, call me a pig, and tell me I'm a lustful horny dog. I don't care. I want to make love to her. I want her. I need her. The desire is like hot lava in my veins.

"Bells?" I call as I walk into the house. It's after seven, the house is dark and quiet. I told Sam I needed tonight off. I was surprised when he agreed.

I frown as I start walking through the house. She's not here. I can't hear her or smell her. Panic, sharp and fast, slices through me. Shaking, screaming her name, I flip on lights and tear through the house.

"Jake?"

I spin around so fast, I feel dizzy with relief when I see Bella standing there, framed by the front doorway, a perplexed look on her face, grocery bags in her hands. I close the distance and wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly to my chest. I bury my face in her hair, kiss her neck, revel in the weight of her in my arms.

"Jake, what's wrong?" she asks. Her voice is confused and concerned, but she grips me just as tight, her fingers curl into the fabric of my t-shirt.

"Nothing, I just—" I swallow hard. The truth of what I thought is too scary to imagine. I can't lose her. Not now. "You weren't here; I didn't know...I thought—"

"Jake," she coos softly, pulling back and taking my face in her hands. "I'm okay. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but Seth was—"

I crash my lips to hers before she can finish. Her lips are so soft, renewed desire; primal passion boils up inside me. Her lips part, her tongue touches mine and I lose all semblance of control.

I rip my lips from hers and whisper, "I want you, Bella. Please, let me love—"

Seth, Embry and Jared all walk through the door, loudly clearing their throats, plastic grocery bags on their arms. I growl, low in my throat. Just my fuckin' luck!

Bella's cheeks are flushed pink and I groan. In fact, I feel like crying. I bend down to Bella's height and lean my head on her shoulder.

I whimper.

She chuckles.

"It's not funny," I whine.

Bella strokes my hair, her fingernails lightly scrap against my scalp. She whispers in my ear, her lips pressed against my skin, "I promised them I'd make dinner."

I stand up, my hands still splayed against her waist. And sigh. Dramatically. Whoever said teenage girls were drama queens, never met me.

A smile curls on the side of her full slightly swollen lips as she slips from my embrace. I swear, I think that was a smirk. Is she smirking? She likes the power she has over me?

Oh god.

This is torture.

"I think everyone can conjure up their own dinner, Bells," I say loudly enough for all the wolves in my kitchen to hear the threat in my words.

"Jake, I promised. They helped me with the groceries, it's the least I could do."

Smirking, definitely smirking. I narrow my eyes at her.

"Fine," I say evenly. Her eyes go wide and I stride across the kitchen, cornering her against the wall. I wrap one arm around her waist and hoist her over my shoulder and start walking back to my bedroom.

"Jake! Let me down!" Bella squeals. She can try to deny it or hide it, but the scent of her desire is full and thick in my nose.

"No," I tell her, and then look over my shoulder at the guys. Embry's laughing. "You guys can stay, you can go, but Bella will not be making dinner for anyone right now."

I close the door to my bedroom, stand in front of it and sit Bella on her feet. She tries to glare at me, but there is too much fire, too much desire, in her dark eyes. She bites her lip. I cup her face with my hands and slowly lower my mouth to hers. My intention is to kiss her slow and soft, but my hunger is too strong. Her lips part, the kiss deepens, and I walk her towards the bed.

"Wait," she says breathlessly. I pout. "Please tell them to leave, Jake."

I take a deep breath and nod once. When I stick my head outside my door, the guys are already gone. Good. I might have gone batshit crazy if they fucked this up.

When I turn back around, my jaw drops open in surprise. And my jeans become uncomfortably tight.

Bella.

My Bella.

In only a small, tiny, insignificant scrap of lace.

No bra.

A devilish smile.

Oh god.

"Jake," she whispers, snapping me into action. I kick off my shoes, tear off my shirt and shimmy out of my jeans, never taking my eyes off her. My beautiful Bella.

"Bella," I say softly, reverently, my hands skim up her sides, curling around her slender curves. Her hands wrap around my neck as she pulls my mouth to hers. Everything inside me breaks apart. Hunger, raw and ravenous, growls inside me. The passion in her kiss, in her hands smoothing over my back and arms is overwhelming, intoxicating.

I know I should go slowly. I should make love to her, take my time. But I can't. Desire and love, lust and want, need and passion are burning so bright and hot I can't think, I can't do anything but make her mine.

I kiss her neck, whisper the same words in my native tongue I said to her all those years ago, in her kitchen, before my world fell apart. Before my small hope was shattered.

I push all that from my mind, desperate to not let him or the past ruin this.

I slide my hand over the swell of her breast, and the curve of her hip. I hook my fingers in the lacy fabric of her panties and drag them down her legs, My fingers carress back up her trembling legs to the apex of her thighs. Her hands are in my hair, her lips melded to mine. It's like something was suddenly unleashed inside her. She feels wild and free beneath my touch.

"Oh god, Bells," I groan when she jerks her hips up. It's only seconds later; the most beautiful sight I've ever seen happens when Bella moans my name and her whole body shudders, overcome with pleasure.

"Jake," she murmurs, as I kiss her softly.

"Bella," I answer. I hold myself up and lock my eyes on hers. "I'm going to make love to you now."

She doesn't answer, so I lean down, my lips barely brushing hers.

"Say yes, Bells."

"Yes."

I capture her lips with mine, losing myself in the feel of Bella's soft skin, in the scent of her desire, in the passion of her kiss, in the love bursting inside my chest.

I slide into her and its...perfect.

Easy.

Like we were meant to be this way.

She clutches my biceps and throws her head back. I kiss her neck, and then flip us over, so that she's straddling me. I guide her hips into an easy rhythm. Bella leans over me, and kisses me hard and deep.

Just as all my senses explode, as warmth and wetness surround me, Bella's lips leave mine, trailing over my jaw. The truth of her whisper pushes me over the edge and I know I'll never ever be the same.

"I love you Jake. I'm forever yours."

* * *

><p>Thanks for all the reviews!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Bella

I don't want to die. I wish with everything I was still in Jake's bed, wrapped in his arms. I can still feel his kisses pressed lightly to my skin, his hands skimming my sides, his forearms flexing as he thrust inside me.

A deep raw ache ignites in my belly. But I don't stop. I keep trekking through the dark woods. I have to find out what's going on with Edward. Maybe I'm being stupid and reckless, but I can't sit around and wait for him to show up. And I don't believe he'd kill me either.

I finally see it. The Cullen's house. It's completely dark, like a large imposing monster in the middle of the woods. I take a deep breath and climb the stairs, letting myself in.

It's eerily quiet. And I move as silently as possible through the dark halls. A sad melody shatters the silence. I find Edward, hunched over the piano, playing, his eyes closed.

"Bella," he whispers in a strained voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? What are you doing Edward? Why did you tell me to come back here? Then you...you attacked me!"

I watch him flinch at my words, but he still doesn't turn to face me. His profile is in shadows, but I can still see the deep purple bruises under his eyes.

"Bella, you need to leave."

"Why?" Defiantly I cross my arms over my chest.

He lifts his head and turns to face me, wrinkling his nose. "You smell like him."

"Edward..."

"Bella, he'll protect you. Go back to him."

"Protect me from what?"

"Me."

"I don't understand. What happen to you?" I move closer and he instinctively leans away. His eyes are almost all black and as I get closer I can see the warring emotions flickering across his face.

"You wouldn't understand. You need to leave," he pleads, his voice sounds hoarse and strained.

"What wouldn't I understand? That you sent me back here just so you could attack me?"

"Everything I've done, I've done for you!" He shouts. He stands up fast, knocking over the piano bench.

I step closer. "Tell me what the hell you're talking about Edward!"

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. The familiar gesture makes me angry.

"Aro wants you Bella. He's always wanted you," he begins. "I knew he was coming for you, that's why I told you to come back to Forks. So Jacob could protect you. But after you left he and some of his minions kidnapped me. He didn't even bother to torture me. He has a vampire who can control minds. Her gift is compulsion."

I furrow my brow. "So what...you're working for Aro because he has some freaky mind control over you ordering you to bring me back to him?"

He nods, slowly, grimacing. He hands are curled into tight fists, his expression strained. The silence and tension stretches between us, and I realize too late that I need to run.

Edward's strong arm clamps around my waist, his other hand cover my mouth, muffling my scream. Is it too much to hope that Jake's super wolf hearing could hear me?

I struggle against him. He's weak from not feeding, and I manage to kick him hard in the crotch. His grip loosens just enough for me to wiggle free. I run into the kitchen and grab the largest knife I can find. But Edward's too fast and before I get a good grip, it clatters to the floor as he wraps his arms around me and slams me against the cabinets.

"Not this time, love," he breathes against my neck. "I told you to leave, you always were a stubborn girl."

Struggling, tears sting my eyes, panic and pain claw at my throat. "Edward, this isn't you. You said you'd never hurt me!"

"I lied," he chuckles darkly. Whatever part of my Edward that still existed a moment a go, is gone now. "Maybe I should just drain you now. I've always wanted to taste your blood again."

I'm pressed hard against the counter; the granite digs into my skin. Edward's hard body covers my back. He sweeps my long hair to the side, revealing my neck. The tender movement and following caress makes me sick; I feel the bile rising in my gut.

He leans closer, kissing my neck. "And I'm so hungry, love."

He's distracted and the block of knives is right in front of me. If I could just get one hand free...

I do. I wiggle one arm free and grab a knife. Without thinking, without planning, I drive the knife backwards into Edward's side. He lets go of me with a grunt and stumbles back. I try again to run, but he catches me by the wrist and drags me back.

Edward removes the large knife from his side and poises it right about my arms. Slowly, he drags the blade across my skin, and red blood blooms from cut. He swipes a finger across it and then smears the crimson liquid across his tongue.

"Oh god," he moans, closing his eyes. I think I'm going to be sick. He bends his head and I reach back, grappling for another knife. Just as I feel the blood dripping down my arm and his tongue slide across my skin, I stab him in the heart.

Shock crosses Edward's face a moment before he staggers back. I push the blade in all the way to the hilt. He collapses onto the floor, still as stone.

A second later, Jacob burst through the door, looking crazed. He doesn't hesitate. His arms wrap around me and he pulls me against his chest.

"God, Bella, you're so stupid, what were you thinking?"

Trembling I collapse against him, clinging to his shirt. He pulls back, frames my face with his hands. "Are you okay, Bells?

I nod, but he checks me anyway, his hands slide over the slick blood on my arm. After he cleans my arm and wraps his shirt around it for a makeshift bandage, he carries Edward's body into the front lawn and burns him.

Without another word, he grabs me hand, intertwining our fingers and takes me home.

~000~

There are no words between us at first. He kisses me, softly, slowly, the same way he undresses me. His hands grip my hips with just enough force to tell me he is in control. It sends a thrill through my body.

He turns me around. His soft full lips kiss my neck as he whispers in my ear, "Are you going to let me protect you Bella?"

"Yes."

His lips trail over my bare shoulder and his fingers slide down my belly, just grazing the place where I need him to touch most.

"God, baby, you're so wet."

I whimper as his fingers slide against me. His skin is so hot, his touch so gentle, his words erotic. It makes me feel free, wild, sexy and unrestrained. I bend over his bed, gripping the sheets and arch my back.

"Fuck, you're so sexy," he mummers. Jake grips my hips and slides into me slowly. He kisses my neck, wraps one arm around my middle, gliding up to cup his hand around my breast.

"Jake," I moan, pushing my hips back, urging him to move. "Please."

"I need to hear you say it," he says.

"I love you," I tell him and he pulls back and then thrust again, sending electric jolts of pleasure coursing through my veins. "I'm yours, forever."


End file.
